Focusing on Self-Growth

August 9, 2017


It’s been a hot minute since I’ve last sat down and thought about my own personal growth over the past recent years and all that I’ve accomplished. So often, we find ourselves congratulating other people day in and day out for whatever big or small accomplishment they’ve done. We hear confirmation from our friends, family and strangers of what we are doing right and wrong all the time! And when we take the time to say those same things to ourselves, we either get called conceited or being too hard on ourselves. Where is the balance?

I’ve come to realize that congratulating and acknowledging my accomplishments isn’t me being conceited but rather it motivates me further to accomplish more. And ever coming to this realization, I’ve taken a mental note to take time out of my life and to evaluate how I am doing, what I’ve done and where I want to go. I’ve curated a list of some things to help me and you along and wanted to share them with you.


1. Taking Time Out of the Day for YOU

There have been days that just flew by because I have been so busy and days where I have absolutely nothing to do and sitting on my couch twiddling my thumbs. Regardless of the time constraints you’re facing, I think it’s so important to set aside some time, whenever throughout the day that fits you, to focus solely on YOU. I personally like to do it right before bed so I can kind of see what I’ve done for the day, what needs to be done tomorrow, etc. Use this time to think back on the day, week, month or year(s) of your life and see where you’ve come today. Are you happy with where you are? If yes, how can you continue and if no, what can you do differently? Say “congrats self” when you are proud of something you’ve done, say “we are going to change this the next time around” if you wish you’ve done something differently. It could be a quick 5-minute thing to do every day. For me, it definitely helps because it helps me evaluate myself better on the good and the bad. After all, there’s no one who knows us better than ourselves.

2. Use the Good as Motivation, Use the Bad as a Lesson

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason…things are just meant to happen. And when something bad happens, we usually see that as a screw-up or something negative. But I’ve come to learn that even the bad can be seen as good. When congratulating yourself for doing something well, use that as motivation to keep going and doing just as well or even better! Realize that you are capable of accomplishing these goals you have…regardless of how big or small they may be. And when something not-so-well happens, don’t shut yourself down and stop trying, use it as a lesson of what shouldn’t be done and ask yourself yourself how you can go from there. There are always options and it’s never ever too late to do something. And be reasonable with ourselves…because we know ourselves better than anyone, know when we are growing in a positive manner and when change is needed. Change should never be feared for this reason!

3. Surround Yourself with Like-Minded People

Going through high school, I saw myself as someone who was friendly with everyone. While I had a group of go-to friends, I was able to strike up a conversation pretty easily with a lot of people. But that was almost 3 years ago and I am definitely not the same person anymore. Life is indeed too short to waste time with people who just aren’t building you up. I’ve grown to realize that it’s okay to let some people go because they aren’t helping you grow in any way. When I say like-minded people, I don’t mean those having the same personality or background or anything of that sort, but rather like-minded in the sense that you guys are able to build each other up, offer like-minded support and call you out on what you’re doing wrong. I see my friends as my family, we do anything we can for each other and be there during the good and bad times. It’s hard but sometimes it’s necessary to cut those negative ties because not only are they bringing themselves down, they’re going to ultimately bring you down. Self-growth won’t happen easily when you constantly have a voice saying you can’t do it. I can’t stress enough at how happy and different I am of a person because of the friends that I surround myself with.



I want you all to take just 5 minutes today to sit down (or stand) and evaluate how far you’ve come. Are you truly proud of yourself and what’ve you’ve done? What would you do differently? How would you go from here? Personally, I think I’ve grown so much since high school. I am able to live in NYC and navigate the streets alone, I taught myself how to cook and take care of myself without my parents, I’ve learned to be more confrontational and speak my mind, and more! Even little accomplishments are accomplishments. I am constantly proud of my family, friends and even you all! Remember to not only build those around you up but take time to build yourself up!! Self-love is the best love!

Until my next lil’ thought then!


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