Hey friends! It’s been a HOT minute since I’ve chatted with you. In the most literal sense as well because the temps have been extremely HOT and humid lately – typical August NY weather. Let’s delve straight into some random 2020 thoughts and life updates:
I took a much needed break from the blog to reset my mind and also to reboot what I want this space to represent. I started this blog over three years ago to have a space where I can belong and freely write. Growing up, writing was my escape from everything I dealt with internally; being able to put it down somewhere was my therapy. I created this space to share all of those thoughts and lil’ loves in my life to hopefully inspire and curate a community that can support each other.
As the years piled on top of each other, I slowly started to wean away from the personal journal format of lil’ thoughts into more mainstream topics like sales and makeup. Topics that I thought would better help serve you. Don’t get me wrong, it is so fun to share all those things. But after a certain time I felt like I was pushing back the other parts of me that wanted to be expressed on this platform. Parts where I wanted to talk about life and its ups and downs, hoping that we can relate to each other.
I felt unmotivated to write and experienced some hardcore writer’s block. Today I really felt the urge to let my thoughts take over and to just let my thoughts speak for themselves. I’ve been away from NYC and home in upstate New York with my parents since March. And I will be here until at least March 2021 since my work pushed back WFH until then. Crazy to imagine that I’m moving back home at 24 after living on my own for the past 6 or so years. But I’ve been loving it; although it’s hard at times to readjust to a different lifestyle and adhering to the house rules, I am so happy to have this time to be with my family and still have a job that fulfills me.
Throughout this entire time, I felt and occasionally still feel, a lil’ lost amongst my life from content to broader thoughts about my future. In essence, my 2020 thoughts centered around trivial matters in the grand scheme of things, but the culmination of them all has greatly impacted my mental state the past couple of months. I was afraid to admit this for the longest time, but I realized that embracing my shortfalls can set me up to visualize what I want to learn and achieve within the next few months. A reminder that nothing is impossible, but it’s also okay to just breathe.
Leading into more positive updates, I wanted to let you guys know that I started a new job back in March and I LOVE it. I feel so much more fulfilled and more at peace with my career growth. I am so grateful to have a job during this time and a company that provides so many resources for my well-being. Next, we finally decided not to resign my apartment lease, which was such a hard decision. NYC has been home for the past 5 years and I thought I was going to stay in this apartment forever. But with all the time and financial considerations, it made much more sense to return at ta later time; a temporary goodbye to NYC.
This period of life seems to be so weird to me, as many of you may feel the same. I range from wanting to get up early and motivated to work out, get ready and seize the day to days where I want to just want to lay in bed with a tub of ice cream. I embrace both days because balance is key! And I proudly haven’t thought about working out for a month and feel comfortable in my body. And who knows, tomorrow I might get up wanting to work out until I pass out. I’m just leaning into what my body and mind needs.
Giving ourselves the needed grace is the number one lesson I’ve learned and am continuing to learn during the past few months. I hope if anything, I can relay that message to you with this post. There are ups and downs in life and it’s so important to ride out each wave. These are my current 2020 thoughts and snippets of what’s happening in life. Thank you for being with me through this time and I promise more blog posts to come – you can follow more closely to my daily updates on Instagram too!!
A million and one thanks for reading, until my next lil’ thought then!